she’s lied to me about her past. we’re married now and i love her a lot but i dont trust her. people lie about their past to protect the other person. but while we were dating she lied about her past and she once lied about meeting up with some friends one of whom she had a prev. relationship with. she made up an excuse about why she didnt want to invite me, but in reality it was because she had slept with one of the guys she was meeting up and thought it would be awkward.
after finding out the truth i’ve never been able to trust her again. i can get over her past but her lying to me while we were together affects the present. she was chatting w/ someone last night i asked who it was and she said one of her girlfriends.
i went on her computer this morning to look at an ebay auction and her email account was open and there was an open chat with some guy, so i thought about checking it, but i didnt. but i guess i clicked on something so she knew that i had seen her email account.
i asked her if she lied to me about who she was talking to last night and got all mad saying she has nothing to hide and im invading her privacy. that she was really talking to a girlfriend and the chat that i saw was there cuz she wante dto check out a website he recommended.
i know i was wrong for looking but i didnt read anything cuz i felt weird about doing it. to be honest i did read her emails before after finding out about her lying about meeting up her friends. its too hard being with her cuz i dont trust her. and i think its only fair to her that she finds someone else who can. but before we go that route i wanna try to trust her again.
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February 16th, 2010 at 6:12 am
Good luck, this is not easy, you both have to wont it to work.
Reassuring ones partner takes patience and really knowing what it is your partner needs.
You know her don’t you…..?
Talking to her just like you did here will mean alot to her.
Good luck
February 16th, 2010 at 10:09 am
Learn to be more less noticeable when checking her e-mails. Check her cell phone when she is not in the room.I had a simular prob. related to chat rooms and women. i confronted him about it. and it doesn’t happen anymore if it did he would be gone. No more trust at all.
February 16th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
This *might* be jumping to a conclusion a bit prematurely, but if your wife is lying to you about where she’s going and who with, to meet up with a guy she had slept with before, it’s to sleep with him again.
February 16th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Pick your battles buddie, this is a little tiny white lie that she thought she needed to do in order to avoid any kind of drama. Yes she should have told you but I think you are over-reacting a little bit about something so small.